I'm okay with Fleetwood Mac, they've never been among my favorite groups but they're all right. RUMOURS in particular has some songs dealing with emotional situations that we all have found ourselves trying to understand, and it's always helpful to hear that others have been through the same gantlets of the heart. One of the singers for Fleetwood Mac way back in the day was a young woman named Stevie Nicks. She had a distinctive voice with a kind of edge to it; I don't know what the technical word is, but Dolly Parton has this quality even more pronouncedly. If it wasn't ungallant, this might be described as a sort of goatlike or sheeplike effect.

Stevie was a lovely little thing, not much over five feet tall (which explains the platform shoes even Frankenstein's Monster would find awkward, and the stovepipe hat. In contrast to singers like, say Pat Benatar (who seemed enraged in every song she did), Stevie Nicks showed an ethereal sort of presence on stage.. a lot of twirling in lace, very feminine in the classic sense. In particular, the song "Rhiannon" fit her visual image and her vocal qualities with mystic lyrics. In her heyday, Nicks redirected the bloodflow in many many thousands of young men to a localized area.

( Nix, Nicks )


I like to post mostly my own scans, trying to add to images available in the ether, but here are a few that I swiped:

( more Stevie )






And, rather than put up a link to the singer herself performing, here is an insolent song from the Rotters, immortalized on YouTube.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vKtASyCinfc

Oh, what the heck, here's Stevie in 1976 doing "Rhiannon"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=py3w5fttedA

I mean, why not?

What IS it about THE TWILIGHT ZONE that haunts our collective memories so? Maybe because almost everyone saw it at an early, impressionable age? Because it drew on the best stories from old time radio and writers like Charles Beaumont or Richard Matheson? Or, maybe, because Rod Serling knew what he was doing and was like the vaudeville comedian who knew from long experience just how to pace a joke and hit the punchline? For whatever reasons, when I ask someone if they were ever frightened by a TV show, they're likely to answer, "Oh, yes, that one with the gremlin on the wing of the plane," or "The old lady alone in the house with these little robots trying to kill her," or "the one with the Devil locked up in the monastery.." Even if they haven't seen the show in many years, somehow it still haunts them.




On the left is Inger Stevens at the age of twenty, a good example of Sweden producing good-looking people. Man. On the right, she's seen with Rod Serling. Is it just me, or does he always seem so tense and worried, like a chain-smoker with an ulcer? Every time I see him in his little intros to TWILIGHT ZONE episodes, he looks uptight and ready to snap. Anyway, the very first season of THE TWILIGHT ZONE (and don't ask if I mean the original series, don't get me started grrrr), featured "The Hitchhiker." A young woman named Nan is driving cross-country and, after narrowly missing a serious accident, starts to see a seedy-looking hitchhiker turning up and asking, "Going my way?" No matter how fast or how far she drives, he shows up. Nan freaks out and thinks the guy is planning to kill her but (of course) the answer is much stranger than that.

( more Swedish beauty )

When you see Inger Stevens mentioned at all, it's either for her 1960s tame sitcom THE FARMER'S DAUGHTER or about her suspicious death at the age of thirty-five (evidently suicide, but there are always rumors about any celebrity who ever died). If you see her on cable TV, it's almost certainly opposite Clint Eastwood in HANG 'EM HIGH, a Hollywood version of the Spaghetti Westerns (not a bad film). She was in quite a few other movies and TV appearances. I wouldn't mind seeing MADIGAN again, for example. But in the dark corners of my imagination, I will always see her in 1960, behind the wheel of that car and looking in the rearview mirror as she realizes her fate...

This alarming vignette is from Lloyd Dangle's "Lucky To Be Alive," a rumination on notorious serial killer Ted Bundy. It appeared in BLAB!# 5, Summer 1990. Now, any way you look at it, BLAB! was an odd little publication. Edited by Monte Beauchamp, it was a digest-sized magazine packed with art and reminiscences from various underground artists. The first issue was a tribute to EC Comics, but this fifth issue was all about true crime and serial killers. To be honest, it scared me more than all the horror movies and pulps I've read over the decades.



A quick look at Snopes leads you to conclude that this story, taken from a 1989 interview with Debbie Harry, is apocryphal. Ted Bundy was never known to operate in New York City. Possibly the story was an example of Debbie Harry's dark sense of humor (I get the impression from various interviews that she has a sharp and mordant mind). But what's even more alarming... If this did happen to her, and it couldn't have been Ted Bundy driving this tricked-up MurderMobile, then who was it? What killer was out there, never to be identified or caught? (brrr)

Beforfe SILENCE OF THE LAMBS came out, I happened to rent an earlier movie called MANHUNTER with Brian COx as Hannibal Lector. This led me to buy a few books on criminal profilers and true life serial killers, but I soon after sold off the books and didn't do any more research into that area. That's information I don't need in my head.

Haven't done any screen captures lately, and they can be fun. Let's get a look at some of Michelle Trachtenberg's reaction shots from 2004's EUROTRIP




I tried a few episodes of BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER but it didn't draw me in; I watch very little television any more and have long since lost the habit of following a series. So I wasn't familiar with Michelle, although you do pick up celebrity names through osmosis, whether you want to or not. ("Moscow in flames, missiles heading for Washingston DC but first this story about Jessica Alba being seen with her co-star in a bar...") I took to her in EUROTRIP, she has a certain semi-goofy appeal. Not gorgeous like, say, Grace Kelly, she is still attractive and seems very likeable. I particularly like her quick changes of expressions at dismaying events. This seems like something every actor should be good at, but a moment's thought will remind you of several stars who always seem a bit dazed when on camera.

( click )

And you know what, let's throw in a brief review of EUROTRIP:

( from Jan 16, 2005 )

Hey there! Dr Hermes here. I've been putting up scans from old comics, pulps, men's magazines, paperbacks, ads and stills from obscure movies, pictures of babes of yore, all with my usual skewed commentary. Lately we've been getting into more esoteric topics, really whatever seems interesting. Feel free to leave a comment or email me at drhermes@webtv.net. I love getting mail, who doesn't?

Also, you may want to check out my main website DR HERMES REVIEWS
http://community-2.webtv.net/drhermes/DRHERMESREVIEWSHome/ which has just hundreds and hundreds of reviews of pulp stories, mysteries, old time radio shows, cliffhangers, drive-in classics and black & white horror movies.. you know, the good stuff.

Below are some tags for our main categories to help with browsing. Enjoy and let me know what you think.

( mocked by kids )

Despite the way she appears on stage, Shania is quite short. Here a trio of ten-year-olds unkindly mock her for her lack of height.

( wider.. a little more.. )

Almost had an entry on my 'Uvulas of the Stars' series.

( give me ten more )

Dayum. Someone's been doing her sit-ups.

( thank you, thank you )

"That was 'In a Gadda Da Vida.' Now, I'd like to do 'Cat Scratch Fever'..."

( Mrs Peel, we're needed )

Cell phone reception went dead around Shania when she wore this outfit. m

Yowza!



One drawback of my rather esoteric tastes is that I've missed out on most of the classic, must-see films that make up most lists of Greatest Movies Ever Made. When THE GODFATHER was showing, I was watching DAREDEVILS OF THE RED CIRCLE; instead of BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID, it was MURDER BY DECREE and instead of going to see TITANIC, I rented THE TRIPLETS OF BELLEVILLE instead. Understand, I'm not complaining and I don't regret this. My preferences take me where I want to go. The only problem is that sometimes I see a reference to a movie every other cinema fanatic is familiar with, and it goes right over my head.

So it's not much of a surprise that, while I crush on Frances Gifford and Nan Gray, I have never seen a movie with Rita Hayworth in it. Nope. Just looked at her filmography and nothing rings a bell. So, while I'm digging through my crate of clippings gathered over the years, this picture dope-slapped me in the back of the head. It's from 1953's SALOME (I was checking out Biblical epics and noting how Hollywood changed the morality of the original story to something less savage and more Midwest than Middle East). Rita Hayworth was a stunner, take a look and let it sink in. I should rent THE LADY FROM SHANGHAI and give it a shot.

(Oct 23, 2002)


Some thoughts on first watching WHEN DINOSAURS RULED THE EARTH:
What a sad disappointment to see this at last-- one of the final films from Hammer's golden age, released at last to video. This tired flick has no energy or flair, and its look has dated very badly. Even if you accept that dinosaurs somehow survived sixty million years to harass early humans, the necessary suspension of disbeluef is destroyed by our gorgeous Cro-Magnon stars. They all have neatly brushed hair and trimmed beards, perfect Hollywood smiles and spotless fingernails. The effect of prehysterical people trying to survive in a raw world is not convincing for a second. The sparse dialogue in some supposed ur-language doesn't help, either. And apparently either humans have been around for eight billion years or the moon is only fifteen thousand years old, because this movie shows us Cro-Magnons witnessing the birth of the moon. (Geez, don't let Creationists see this flick or they'll be using it as evidence.)

Star Victoria Vetri (the 1968 Playmate of the Year as Angela Dorian) is an awesome sight certainly, something to get your testosterone level sky high and she seems to be perfectly at home running hither and yon half naked, catching fish with her hands and being adopted by a dinosaur. The handful of animated beasties that pop their heads into the proceedings are varied and fun to watch, but although Jim Danforth does a decent job, they lack some of that indescribable charm that Ray Harryhausen tweaked into his own creations.

( click to enlarge, why not? )

Most of the "Babes" on Retro-Scans are here because of their singing or acting, or because they have a certain impudent personality that comes through. I can't say any of that for Victoria Vetri. Maybe she could sing, I haven't heard any samples. Her acting seems to be at the level where you see her thinking, "He's going to close the door and ask me a question. I stand up and say, 'What do you mean by that?" Okay, he closed the door. He asked me a question. Wait, what do I say again?" Like that. From the interview I've read (where she mentions that she and the interviewer are both Italian descent), she seems okay-- not a deep thinker, not a psycho. Just a California-born beach bunny who looked absolutely great naked and made some money off it for a while. Could be worse.


( Grrr, I'm a scary Cavewoman! )

( trying to show expression )

Vetri did an awful lot of TV in a short period of time (the early 1970s were a golden age for rotating guest stars, where you saw the same dozen actors in one show after another), but of the feature films she did, only a few are in genres suitable for Retro-Scans. One was a sleazefest called GROUP MARRIAGE (I'm thinking of starting an R-rated Retro-Scans over on InsaneJournal that will feature TONS of nudity). Then there was a Western called CHUKA, which vaguely seems familiar for some reason. Then there was 1973's INVASION OF THE BEE GIRLS.

This was not nearly as enjoyable as the title or premise would lead you to hope. What kind of film stock did they start using around 1970 that makes everything from those years look so grainy and tacky and ugly? Ecch. And it's not just the transfer to VHS because those films looked like that in theatres. Anyway, Anitra Ford (who deserves a cult all her own, right?) is leading a secret organization of bee-woman hybrids. These are regular women who are covered with goo, stung all over by hundreds of bees, wizzled with flashing-light Hollywood-tech. They come out part of the group mind, and start offering sex to men, which sounds okay except that the men die halfway through. I forget why. Oh, and the bee-women's eyes look exactly like they are wearing uncomfortable full-eyeball black contact lenses.

( I majored in Science )

This movie gives us Victoria Vetri as a Movie Scientist, delivering lines about mutations and genetic engineering that she obviously doesn't understand herself. Most of the movie she spends frowning and musing over these strange bee-sting serial killings. There is one scene where she is molested in a parking lot by some goons, but that seems mostly an excuse for William Smith to beat the dirtbags up. He does this well; Smith was up for the lead role in the series KUNG FU and let me tell you, that would be a SCARY Kwai Chang Caine. Whew. Oh, and Victoria is briefly nude at the end when they try to bee-ify her. This seems a shame. If you've got the Playmate of the Year in the cast and she's willing to get nekkid, why not get some mileage out of it? There's lots of other actresses running around topless in this drive0in class that look more, well... ordinary than she did.

Hey there! Dr Hermes here. I've been putting up scans from old comics, pulps, men's magazines, paperbacks, ads and stills from obscure movies, pictures of babes of yore, all with my usual skewed commentary. Lately we've been getting into more esoteric topics, really whatever seems interesting. Feel free to leave a comment or email me at drhermes@webtv.net. I love getting mail, who doesn't?

Also, you may want to check out my main website DR HERMES REVIEWShttp://community-2.webtv.net/drhermes/DRHERMESREVIEWSHome/ which has just hundreds and hundreds of reviews of pulp stories, mysteries, old time radio shows, cliffhangers, drive-in classics and black & white horror movies.. you know, the good stuff.

Below are some tags for our main categories to help with browsing. Enjoy and let me know what you think.

Akiko Wakabayashi.



Akiko Wakabayashi appeared in 26 films in a too-short career. She's best known to Western audiences (and maybe to Asian too, hard to say) for her appearances in a James Bond epic and a few Toho kaiju sagas. Reports are that she was injured during the making of a movie right after YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE, badly enough that she retired from films. (Although she is alive and well today, probably in her late sixties.) Too bad. Akiko had an interesting look to her, slightly non-Japanese in some way, although God knows I'm no expert.

( Akiko in YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE )

I'm slightly surprised that GHIDRAH, THE THREE-HEADED MONSTER is not in the Hermes video library. Huh. Anyway, this was the first of the giant monster tag-team wrestling flicks from Toho. A three-headed flying dragon from outer space, which shoots lightning bolts from its mouth, attacks our poor planet and Godzilla and Mothra gang up on it. (It bothered me as a child that Ghidrah had no arms; of all the things about that monster for me to think was creepy..) Akiko plays an exotic princess from some made-up country who is possessed or something, and thinks she's from Venus. (Yes, yes, we've all heard of the pop-psychology book.) Her planet had been attacked by Ghidrah before, who's a kind of interplanetary nuisance. (It's all a bit vague in my memory, time to buy the boxed set next payday.) Aki was also in KING KONG VS GODZILLA, but evidently her role as Mie Hama's neighbor was cut by the American distributors to make room for those godawful scenes with the UN reporter (the what?) telling us what we've just seen. There's still another movie I need to watch in its original form.

( a bikini shot is seldom a bad idea )

Of course, she's best remembered as Jane Parker (not Porter, as in the books) from the MGM Tarzan films, but she appeared in quite a few interesting films before semi-retiring (rather early in life, at that). Maureen was in THE THIN MAN, where she just sparkled and held her own against the likes of William Powell and Myrna Loy (not an easy task). She was also in DEVIL DOLL, which is just SO lurid and over-the-top I need to write a huge review of it. What a crazy flick. Miniaturized people running around as assassins, Barrymore in drag most of the time. Then there was MAISIE WAS A LADY starring Ann Sothern. To be honest, I taped this by mistake off Turner Classic Movies but gave it a shot and found it pretty entertaining. I don't know why my spiritual home is the 1930s but why fight it?) And of course, she dealt with the Marx Brothers in AT THE RACES, but my copy is a DVD made from a VHS tape that was a few years old, so it's sadly too foggy to grab some screen captures from.

( oh she is my dear, my darling one )

A few days ago, I picked up the boxed set of the first six Tarzan movies. Zounds! The first two are amazingly gruesome and violent, filled with charging cannibals and warrior dwarfs and giant man-killing gorillas and Indian elephants running around with big African elepant-type ears glued on. When you watch a movie that's been imitated so many hundreds of times, it's astonishing how fresh and vivid what later became cliches were at first.


( her sparkling eyes are full of fun )

Once again, I have to shout it from the roof. Movies get weakened and water-down by too many sequels. Watching the MGMers from TARZAN FINDS A SON onward, I find them entertaining but rather tame and mild. Johnny Weismuller softens and puts on some weight (in the first two, he's in absolutely great shape and just radiates charisma), while Maureen O'Sullivan visibly loses interest in the role and gets put into a modest housewife-sort of dress (in TARZAN ESCAPES, she's wearing a few pieces of material tied on, and there's lots of lovely Irish lass showing). Then the tree house and Boy and too much Cheeta... well, so it goes.

( no other, no other can match the likes of her )

Watching the first two entries again, I'm struck by how well Maureen carries the story. It's about Tarzan, of course, he's the source of the action and he wrestles lions and alligators with conviction. But Maureen does the acting, she makes things accessible to the audience. And she's great. Romance is the big element often missing from later Tarzan adaptations, but it's the heart of the story. Maureen and Johnny seem genuinely attracted and fond of each other, very comfortable together, and without that the Tarzan films would not be classics but just pretty good adventure movies.

Despite what my sites might indicate, I've watched a fair number of mainstream movies over the years, and enjoyed some that you might not expect. THE SECRET GARDEN, for example, or THE ICE STORM. Sometimes a regular drama just hits home. So even though I may be talking about the whacko genre flicks Kate Beckinsale has made, I've watched her in stuff like BROKEDOWN PALACE and SNOW ANGELS (now there's a movie that'll break your heart). She's a good actress. You don't realize how many Hollywood films are just filled with mere competence (remembering the speech, grinning or frowning on cue, walking without bumping into the furniture) until you see an actor who gives the job a bit more care.

( Selene from UNDERWORLD )

Kate does something that many actors never quite catch. When another character is talking or doing something, she makes her character look as if they're paying attention and listening to what's being said. An awful lot of actors are just standing there waiting for the cue to say their line, but the better ones are always reacting as well. Once you notice this, it adds a lot of depth to movies.


( Say something nice about VAN HELSING )

Sure, easy enough. The movie itself was a horrendous wet soggy thump of a disaster, but its release prompted Universal to put out wonderful boxed sets of its classic horror films from the 1930s and 1940s. The Mummy series, the Invisible Man series, the Wolfman.. it was satisfying to finally get these movies on DVD, especially some of the less well known ones like INVISIBLE AGENT or SHE-WOLF LONDON.

( You're silly, Dr Hermes, just keep buying tickets to my movies )

( clickety )( clack )

Here we see Kate rehearsing for UNDERWORLD and then in action. She fires more rounds in those flicks than Eastwood and Bronson combined. If the UNDERWORLD series had been around when I was fourteen or so, it would have electrocuted me. The centuries-long secret war between vampires and werewolves would have really thrown my hyperactive teenage imagination past the red line. Not to mention Kate in her skintight vinyal costume (the camera seems to follow her walking a lot for some reason) shooting and fighting and jumping off buildings. I like these movies well enough. There's some backstory and I always perk up at a new mythology. Sometimes I wonder what the normal humans think about all this supernatural combat (and the civilian deaths). Did I miss a scene showing human spies trying to infiltrate the vampire covens or the military readying a hunting party to swipe out the Lycans? (I haven't seen the third installment, maybe it's mentioned there.)

Another in the series of things I once tapped out on a keyboard without fully thinking it through. We were discussing cable news formats, when did CNN Headline News become the Missing Little White Girl channel, is BBC World News on NPR the most reliable service, should American Morning go for rotating hosts. I chipped in, "Naw, give me Soledad for two hours in the morning and I'll be fine." There was a chorus of course, "I'll BET you would!" "Have you no shame?" and "I thought your heart belonged to that Weather Channel girl." Then we went back on topic. Anyway, last October I posted a few pictures of Soledad O'Brien but I've been doing screen captures the last few days. So here are a few snaps of my favorite multiple-ethnic TV journalist. (As an aside, it would be insanely fun to do screen captures carefully chosen to make someone look completely brain-damaged. Let me choose a celebrity I dislike..)

( click )

( clack )

( clickety )

( clunk )

And here is my commentary from that earlier post:


( still another decade-long crush from Doc )

One of the busiest and most famous Japanese actors of the 1960s, Mie Hama made what looks to be six or seven movies a year. A lot of these were whacky comedies; I've seen some Japanese screwball flicks and they seem pretty hit or miss to me, but of course I'm not catching most of the jokes and incongruities. Slapstick translates well, but puns about place names or little gags about how the word for fish sounds like a popular soft drink... well, you can see why I don't get the gist. Her romantic dramas, like 1970's NIGHT OF THE SEAGULL might be more accessible, as love affairs gone bad are fairly universal but even there, a recurring shot of snow on a bamboo branch might mean something to a Tokyo audience that I would miss entirely. Anyway, Mie made four movies which are accessible to American viewers not terribly hip to Asian cultural subtleties.



Most famous is probably the fifth James Bond film, YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE (which was getting worn by then, and the series tumbled badly afterwards). Mie played Kissy Suzuki, an Ama diving girl (good reason to spend most of her screen time in a white bikini) who helps our boy 007 investigate SPECTRE's finkish activities. Not surprisingly, the Kissy in Ian Fleming's novel had much more subtlety and unexpected quirks than the film version. In fact, the ending of the book is strangely poignant. Bond has lost his memory and thinks he is a simple fisherman living with his beautiful girlfriend. Before Kissy can tell him that she's pregnant, Bond gets vague stirrings and feels he has to go find who he was. It's too bad Fleming went on to write the poorly done final book THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN. I would love to see James Bond have stayed in those remote villages with Kissy and his child while the dirty violent world of espionage wrote him off as dead..


( I do )

( I think about you day and night )

( it's only right )

Aside from the Bond flick, Mie had a role in KING KONG VS GODZILLA and she starred as a scheming international mystery woman, Madame Piranha (!?) in the delirious KING KONG ESCAPES. This film is discussed a bit elsewhere, please click on the tag. She also appeared in a 1965 crime thriller, KEY OF KEYS. This film had the dubious honor to be handed over to Woody Allen for redubbing and recutting, to be made into WHAT'S UP TIGER LILY? Now, I like Allen's twisted version of the film, it's mostly very funny, although it has inevitably dated a bit. But I do wonder if the Japanese cast ever saw it and if so, what they thought of how this crazy gaijin with the tousled hair and thick glasses had done. Possibly, they might have idly thought, "Hey, should I get extra royalties for that..."

I've been having so much fun with the scanner that I forgot about screen captures, which is how I used to illustrate all my movie reviews. So let me dig through the stacks of DVDs and VHS tapes. (These captures don't enlarge when you click on them as scans do, but I think there's a way to do that, let me fiddle a bit.)



This heartbreaker is Evangeline Duy, who appeared on the Canadian show NAMASTE, always alongside two other limber young women to illustrate various postures. It's a fine show even if you're not trying to learn yoga. The soothing voice of Kate Potter (who created the show) narrates as our three heroines go from one pose to another. What is particularly hypnotic about NAMASTE is that each episode was filmed on several different locations -- out in the woods, on a platform near the harbor, in an empty tavern -- and the background quietly shifts within each scene. It's a bit surrealistic but pleasant. It sure beats leaving regular network programs on.




For about a year and a half, I went to something called Bodyflow at our local gym. This a program that starts with twenty minutes Tai Chi, twenty minutes Pilates and finally twenty minutes yoga. Like the NAMASTE show, I've heard purists complain that the poses are simplified and not held long enough. Fine with me. If you want to practice true yoga, there are plenty of places but this was a good introduction and a painless (relatively so) way to get more flexible and toned than you were before. To my surprise, I was able to get into these poses and hold them along with the class and got to the point of doing splits. (My balance was never that good, though.) The Bodyflow class was cut down to once a week because public demand was for noisy aerobics and jumping around instead, but we're told it will come back at some point.


( bend )


( stretch )

( smile )

According to what I sense on the ether, Evangeline is an instructor herself, so if you find yourself in Vancouver, look her up and improve body and spirit under her guidance.

Every now and then, I go on an Emmylou Harris binge for the day. I pick one song of hers after another on YouTube, then listen to them doing laundry or cursing at the checkbook, that sort of thing. She's had a long and varied career, and worked with an awful lot of talented people. The impression I get is that perceptive artists like to go to her for help with a duet or back-up. My favorite moments of Emmylou are when she comes on stage to join in on "Evangeline" in THE LAST WALTZ. I saw that film in a theatre with a big old-fashioned full-sized screen and great sound system, and the songs were running in my head for days. Another favorite was her contributing to a Johnny Cash tribute concert; I taped it off TV onto a cassette and need to find it on CD someday. Emmylou tag-teamed singing on "Long Black Veil" and "Flesh and Blood." Great stuff, in fact that whole concert was memorable. I liked to tribute version of "Man In Black" maybe a bit better than Johnny's own (which is slightly shocking).




Now, I have always enjoyed Linda Ronstadt's singing. I saw her live at Saratoga lo these many years ago, and there are days where nothing else but a Ronstadt CD in the car will do. And I'm okay with Dolly Parton -- her styling is not A-number one with me, but I'll listen to her with enjoyment and she has a few songs that connect. But for some reason, that Trio thing that Linda Ronstadt, Emmylou Harris and Dolly Paron did just doesn't work for me. And I'm grieved by it. Maybe it's their choice of material. There are a dozen other songs I'd like to hear them tackle (I always wished Linda had done an album of just Hank Williams!), but that selection left me flat. Them's the breaks.

She is so much more attractive onscreen than in photos. I can't explain it. Maybe it's a natural presence that doesn't capture well in a still. She was one of a mere handful of actors who performed in a serial and then went on to roles in big budget, major studio films. But, this being Retro-Scans, we're naturally interested in only two of her appearances. One was the 1941 Republic cliffhanger, JUNGLE GIRL (discussed more fully over on DR HERMES REVIEWS. The other was the wartime epic, TARZAN TRIUMPHS, where Johnny Weismuller's Apeman tackles the Nazis who presume to enter his turf. Frances filled in for Maureen O'Sullivan, who was weary unto death with playing Jane and who couldn't wait to start making "real" movies again. Well, I think Maureen was charming and beautiful in her own right and I liked her in everything from DEVIL DOLL to THE THIN MAN. But I would have been delighted if the studio had replaced her with Frances for a few films.

Anyway, the lovely Frances Gifford. If you notice her name listed on a Turner Classic Movie offering, whip the eyeballs at her and see if you agree. And if you want a fun, exciting little chapterplay, you could do worse than picking up JUNGLE GIRL.

(PS click on her name in the tags for more pictures, in a post vwhere I thought she would be a good choice to play Pat Savage.)
( one )

( two )

( five, no three )

One of the most beautiful women of her generation, Jean Shrimpton would fit right up there with Grace Kelly and Catherine Deneuve, in my opinion. She was just perfect. That hair, those eyes, those lips, those nose... no, wait. Those legs. Where was I? Oh yes, Jean was the leading model of the 1960s, starting when she was 17. There were months you could go to the newsstand and see her piquant little puss looking up at you from three or four magazine covers, and many times on the inside ads as well. I know zilch about fashion. I can usually tell you if someone is naked or dressed, and that's about it. But even I know that Jean Shrimpton started the mini-skirt fad single-handed (so to speak). When (or if) you watch the Austin Powers movies and are befuddled by the outrageous and irrational clothing on display, rest assured it is no exaggeration. There were a few years during the 1960s when fashion went on an acid trip and people ran around outfits that caused traffic accidents.

Aside from her reign as queen of magazine covers, Jean did not really branch out into other areas of show business. She never recorded an album (whether she could sing or not never stopped anyone else) and she made only a handful of TV appearances. But there is PRIVILEGE. If you ever get the chance to watch this 1967 film, please give it a shot. It's the cynical tale of a hugely successful pop singer who is a complete product. His music, his clothes, his interviews... all carefully orchestrated by the masterminds running his career. And when he decides to speak his own mind, things go about as dreadfully as you'd expect. Were pop stars always so obviously phony as, well Avril Lavigne or Jessica Simpson? You bet. In any case, even if it weren't a fine, thoughtful film, PRIVILEGE would be worth watching to get an eyeful of Jean Shrimpton at 25.


( reminding you to take care of your eyes )

( sigh )

( Ow, my testosterone just went off the scale )

Every now and then I go on a Linda Ronstadt binge, where I play her CDs repeatedly and go dig through the rack of old cassettes for some songs not otherwise available to me. Lately I've been going through YouTube's selection of her live performances (I never knew she did a version of "The First Cut Is the Deepest" or sang "When I Grow Too Old To Dream" with the Muppets) and start one up. Then I open another window and start reading debates about whether a plane on a treadmill could take off or why polar bears don't eat penguins. A few minutes later, the laptop speakers start the song and I enjoy it while arguing with someone online about how Popeye could take Conan in a fight.

One of the very first posts I put up here was a little tribute to Linda and I'm adding a tag to it below. Here are some more pictures. She was not breathtakingly gorgeous or built like Barbie, but I (and millions of others) crushed heavily on her. Linda Ronstadt was genuine, she seemed like a real person that you could be comfortable with, cute as heck and open with her feelings while onstage. And I will always love that voice.

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