dr_hermes (dr_hermes) wrote,
dr_hermes
dr_hermes

Not in enough hot water yet?

Well, if you feel you must liven up conversation further, here are a few more designed to derail the other party's train of thought. But first, let us invoke the other great Spirit of Insolence to guide us.



"You're cute. Can I look a little longer?"
- "You already look a little longer."

"Well, I'm only human."
- "Don't exaggerate."

"I'll have you know I've been asked to get married lots of times."
- "Yeah, by your parents."

"I busted my ass at work today."
- "It does have a crack in it."

"I've been married to the same man for ten years."
- "Then he's not the same man."

"It looks nice out."
- "Then you ought to leave it out."

"Sorry, my mind wandered."
- "Uh-oh, it's too little to go anywhere by itself."

"When you pass the buck, don't ask for change."

"The bank has returned your check."
- "Great! what can we buy with it this time?"

"Hey babe, what's your sign?"
- " 'Keep Off,' that's my sign."

"Always be sincere, even if you have to fake it."
Tags: esoterica
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